Conversations in Grief Blog: Checking In
It has been six months since the coronavirus became a significant part of our lives. Six months since we received this unwelcomed guest into our communities. Six months since we shook hands with strangers, went about without masks, and didn’t have hand sanitizer on our shopping lists. It has been six months.
In seasons of loss, we measure time differently. It has been six months since… The moment our lives were forever changed by an unwanted and unwelcome event. There is the time before, the person we were before, and the time since.
Our relationships change after loss. In the world since COVID-19 arrived we have been separated in ways we never imagined. We visit through screens instead of in living rooms, we share our love through windows longing for hugs, and the familiar scents of our family or friends. (Yes, even their scents.) Those important details of who our loved ones are and how we connect to them being held at arm’s length.
It can feel the same after someone dies when one day, we realize those who were in our lives have carried on while we are at home with our grief. When the casseroles and phone calls stop many are left wondering where everyone went. It may feel like our grief is a barrier keeping people away who just don’t know what to say or how to act around us. They love us they just don’t know how to do it right now.
What many people want is for someone to check in. To text or call and say, “How are you doing? I know these past six months have been hard for you and I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to talk about it.” In supporting others through grief creating a safe space for them to share what they have been feeling, with no quick fixes or cliché’ responses, can be very helpful.
So today I want to just check in with you and ask, how are you doing? Do you have the support system you need for yourself? What you’re being asked to carry is incredibly difficult, would you like to talk about it in a safe space? We all need the opportunity to talk about what’s going on and we’re here for you if you need a safe place to just unburden yourself even just a little. Six months is a long time in grief…how are you doing?