Facing End-of-Life, Rainbow NP Goes from Asking 'Why Me?' to 'Why Not Me?'

Facing End-of-life, Rainbow NP Goes from Asking 'Why me?' to 'Why not me?'

by Kenyon Kemnitz

Kristina holds her youngest son, Krue, and her husband Tom holds their other son, Kooper. Kristina's oldest son, Carlos, is pictured in the back left and her stepson, Cameron, is on the right.

Watching your children grow up is every parent’s dream. Most people are lucky enough to get that opportunity. But sometimes hoping for a miracle can’t change the course of a terminal illness, and suddenly the realization sets in that there is no quick fix, sudden cure, magical solution, or a happy storybook ending.

Some illnesses or diseases don’t play by the rules. Cancer doesn’t care how healthy you are, how old you are, or about being fair.

Last July, Rainbow Community Care Nurse Practitioner Kristina Heimsch and her husband, Tom, purchased some land near Oxford, Wisconsin (about 20 miles northeast of Wisconsin Dells). It was a dream they had been working towards for a while and it finally came true.

“We wanted a place to get away, escape reality, and be at peace with nature,” said Heimsch. “We both love being outdoors and this was our home away from home.”

Kristina was happy and healthy. She worked out four to six times a week. She had a loving husband, two young children (Kooper, almost 3, and Krue, nearly 2), and two older boys (Carlos and her stepson Cameron, both 21) and she was enjoying her job at Rainbow. That’s when she started having lower left back pain. At the end of August, the pain also moved to the left side of her neck.

“It was manageable, and I kept trucking along,” Heimsch said.

But things started to change the day after Kristina and her family returned home from a weekend at their land in mid-September.

“I woke up early with neck and back pain and as I was getting ready for work the pain increased significantly,” Heimsch said. “I thought I had tweaked something. I could barely move and had horrible back spasms that caused me to lie on the floor for about five hours.”

Kristina was able to see her doctor the next day and prescribed prednisone, a steroid medication, and a muscle relaxer for pain. That provided some temporary relief, but once the medication tapered off after two weeks, her pain came back. Kristina’s back pain was constant, and her neck pain had intensified. After receiving another dose of prednisone at the beginning of October, Kristina traveled with her family to their land one last time.

“The only health problem I had was hypothyroidism,” Heimsch said. “I take daily medication for it and get annual ultrasounds, so I truly thought and hoped my neck pain stemmed from my thyroid.”

On October 17^th, Kristina got her annual thyroid ultrasound. Doctors soon discovered an enlarged left supraclavicular lymph node, located above her clavicle, and suggested she get a CT scan of her neck and chest. Her pain then went from manageable to excruciating.

“I could barely get off the ultrasound table and sat in the parking lot for about an hour before I got the courage to drive home,” Heimsch said. “Then I sat in the car for about an hour and a half before I was able to make it back into the house.”

Kristina did her best to carry on but was in severe, agonizing pain and the next day it only got worse. She could barely walk and couldn’t get comfortable lying down either. Her husband took her to Watertown Regional Medical Center on Friday night, October 18^th.

Kristina was supposed to be in her best friend’s wedding the next day but soon realized that wasn’t going to happen. She felt horrible about letting her friend down, but her back spasms didn’t subside, and she was admitted into the hospital. Doctors took Kristina down for a CT scan of her abdomen and pelvis because they thought she might have kidney stones.

“I told Tom to go home,” Heimsch said. “I said, ‘It’s just back pain, I’ll be okay.’ Then the doctor came in and said the results were back, and I said, ‘Oh good.’ And he says, “No, not good.”

Kristina then received some devastating news she never expected.

“He said, ‘You have a lot of lesions on your pelvis and spine,’ Heimsch said. “You have metastatic cancer, but we don’t know the source.”

Kristina also had a right rib fracture, and an L1 compression fracture, a serious injury to the first vertebra of the lumbar spine that occurs when the bone collapses under pressure.

“That night my life changed forever,” Heimsch said. “Denial, anger, and shock, how could this happen, and why me all came to mind.”

Early the next morning, Kristina was transferred to Madison’s UnityPoint Health Meriter Hospital to undergo a series of diagnostic tests to figure out the source of her cancer. Eventually, an endoscopy revealed an esophageal tumor and an ulcer. Kristina had Stage IV esophageal cancer that had spread throughout her neck, spine, jaw, skull, and esophagus. Doctors gave her the difficult news that her cancer was terminal and there was no cure.

There were no warning signs for Kristina. She had some trouble swallowing a few days before going to the hospital but didn’t think much about it then.

“After speaking with my family, I found out that two male family members on my dad’s side died from esophageal cancer, but they were older, in their late 60s maybe,” Heimsch said.

Kristina is used to being at the forefront of difficult conversations centered around serious illness and end-of-life care. She understands the challenges her patients and their families face on these journeys and knows they are not going to live forever. But she guides her patients to make goals and decisions that are best for them. Kristina didn’t think that, at age 37, she would become a patient needing care.

Hearing the words ‘you have cancer’ was unimaginable. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go for Kristina and her family. But her life has never gone according to plan. She was a young mother who had her son, Carlos, when she was only 16. But she knew that her story would have more than just one chapter. Kristina has strived to continue learning and furthering her education, which is what inspired her to get into the nursing field.

This is Kristina's senior photo in high school with her oldest son, Carlos. Pictured below is what they both look like today.

“I’m a lifelong learner and love to read and educate myself,” Heimsch said. “Being a teen mom, I did not want to become a statistic. Looking back at my old journal, I saw a common theme. I wanted to be happy.”

Kristina has a good grasp of the American healthcare system, with over 15 years of experience in a variety of roles including emergency medicine, primary care, critical care, and home health. She graduated from Alverno College in 2009 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing and four years later decided to get a Master of Business Administration degree from Walden University.

“I had aspirations of opening an adult day program one day to bridge the gap between the elderly staying in their homes and transitioning to nursing facilities,” Heimsch said.

When she joined Rainbow Community Care in August 2020 as a Flex RN, Kristina was working on her Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) degree and chose to do her capstone project on advance care planning. She completed the Maryville University of St. Louis program in 2021 and became one of Rainbow’s four Nurse Practitioners. Since then, Kristina has been a bright light for her patients and their families by preparing them for the future while offering empathy, compassion, and support every step of the way.

She is a critical member of Rainbow’s care team, helping supervise and assist in the care of hospice and palliative care patients, conducting face-to-face assessments, and meeting with patients in their homes or other care facilities.

“Kristina has had to fight her way to the top. I envy her resilience and strength,” said Rainbow palliative care nurse manager Joani Robertson. “She lives to give herself and her family the best they can have and never stops learning. I’ve had a lot of people state they felt she was “to the point” but grateful for the discussion because others weren’t. One patient who was reluctant for service, after meeting her and having a visit, asked her to come back weekly because they connected so well.”

Kristina also helps determine a patient’s ongoing need for palliative and hospice services, facilitates goals of care conversations, and advocates to make sure patients and families receive the best care possible. This includes collaborating with other members of the hospice and palliative care team - including nurse case managers, social workers, CNAs, bereavement counselors, chaplains, and physicians, to determine the best ways to manage pain, provide comfort, and improve the patient’s quality of life. Kristina’s personality and smile are some of the qualities that have endeared her most to her patients and coworkers.

“Kristina has such a wonderful sense of humor,” Robertson said. “Sometimes she doesn't have to say much other than look at you and laugh and you know exactly what is happening. Her laughter is so incredibly infectious.”

Kristina vividly remembers a conversation she had with a Rainbow palliative care patient in September who was still pursuing treatment and had been in and out of the hospital three times since their last visit.

“He looked horrible - like skin and bones and wasn’t doing well,” Heimsch recalls. “I said, ‘I’m not sure anyone has ever told you this, but you are going to die, and this cancer is going to take your life.’ I encouraged him to call his oncologist and told him he would likely be back in the hospital over the weekend if he did not choose hospice and comfort.”

The patient took Kristina’s advice to heart. He was admitted to hospice care and died just over three weeks later. But during that time, he took his grandchildren fishing and spent some quality time with them.

“She is great at reading the room and talking to patients and families regarding their care and goals,” said Rainbow Nurse Practitioner Shauna Lambrecht. “Despite her impressive education and success, she remains down to earth and relatable which allows her to connect to her patients on a deeper level.”

Kristina also has served some of her coworkers’ family members, sharing several of her gifts with them, including her wealth of knowledge and experience.

“Kristina is willing to join a patient’s journey and help guide it,” said Rainbow palliative care social worker Melissa Meboe. “She views patients as experts in their care and allows them to educate her on how to support them. My mother is on our service and was blessed to have Kristina as her nurse practitioner for a while. She said Kristina was so nice and easy to talk to and made her feel well-supported and in good hands.”

One of Kristina’s greatest achievements is helping to shape the lives of future generations of nurses. She has been an Instructor and Associate Professor for the past six years at Herzing University.

“By far the best job I had was teaching,” Heimsch said. “I loved seeing the light bulb shine with the students. I’ve had several of them reach out to me to express their condolences and thank me for the amount of work I put into teaching them and pushing them as hard as I did. Some have called me a role model.”

Kristina has been an inspiration for many, working in multiple healthcare settings before making the switch to hospice. She has come full circle by becoming a patient on Rainbow’s community-based palliative care program.

“Our team has helped with a goals of care conversation with her family, optimized symptom management, and obtained medical equipment such as a hospital bed, wheelchair, and walker and connected her to community resources,” Lambrecht said.

Kristina stayed in the hospital for a week and a half and received a few blood transfusions while they monitored her labs. She wanted to go home on the Saturday before Halloween to take her kids trick or treating.

“I thought it was probably the last time I’d get to do that, and I made it home,” Heimsch said. “I walked around the neighborhood and pushed through the pain. The smile on Kooper’s face was the best thing I had seen in the longest time. He said ‘Mom, Candy!’ All I can say is, it was worth it!”

Kristina spent two more weeks at UW Health University Hospital to manage her pain and low hemoglobin count but has been home with her family ever since. Chemotherapy wasn’t something she wanted to do, but she is determined to have as much time as she can with her loved ones.

“I told them just to treat my pain, but my doctor said if I didn’t do chemo, I would only have a week to live,” Heimsch said. “Well, of course, I’m not ready to die just yet. I want to be home with my family and spend whatever time I have left with them and my boys.”

Kristina recently completed her third round of chemo and is tolerating it better than she thought.

“My pain is mostly under control now, but I am primarily bedbound or chairbound,” Heimsch said.

Since her initial diagnosis, Kristina has been dealing with additional spinal fractures that are common with metastatic diseases. She has three compression fractures in her spine which makes performing normal daily activities difficult to nearly impossible.

“That’s the hardest part for me because I’m normally active,” Heimsch said. “I’m a go-getter and lying in bed feeling vulnerable and helpless is very hard for me.”

Kristina can no longer work, and every day is about being comfortable and living the best quality of life, just like she wanted for her patients. Her husband Tom has taken family medical leave to serve as Kristina’s caregiver so with lost wages, medical costs and other bills are starting to pile up.

Kristina has been pushing herself to do as much as she can with her young children and spend time with her family. On days when she doesn’t think she has anything left to give, she finds something more to show how much she loves them. She still enjoys reading books, watching movies, and playing with her kids despite her pain levels fluctuating each day.

“You only live once and I’m trying to find joy in things that I can do,” Heimsch said. “I love being around my kids, but I have a hard time interacting with them because of the pain.”

Kristina isn’t naive and realizes it’s inevitable that her younger children might forget a lot of things about their mother, but she is planning to write special messages in birthday cards they can open and read each year until they turn 18. That way they can hear her speaking to them when she’s no longer physically present. She wants their smiles and laughter not to stop after she is gone.

Even though it’s not the same as actually being there, it’s the best scenario Kristina can hope for. She knows her husband will help keep her memory alive and that she won’t be forgotten. The boys will have some pictures, videos, and stories to help them learn who their mother was, all the funny and silly things she has done, and the strong love she feels for them. She hopes they’ll come to learn how she cared for others during tough and emotional times in their lives.

“I have a couple of books where I can record my voice and I’ve begun writing notes and letters to my family telling them how I love them and how much they mean to me,” Heimsch said.

Kristina and her family recently completed a photo session so they can have lasting memories of all of them together. Kristina also wants all her family members to complete their advance directives and has enlisted the help of Melissa Meboe to make sure they are prepared for their future.

Dying isn’t what scares Kristina, it’s the pain and fear of leaving a family behind that needs her, a husband, and four children who mean the world to her and will have to grow up without her by their side. She won’t be there for her boys’ first day of school, won’t see them graduate high school, fall in love, get married, and grow up to become young men. That is what is most heartbreaking, not being there for the special moments in their lives.

Kristina has experienced every possible emotion - anger, sadness, frustration, and wondering how and why this could happen to her. But those questions have no simple answers.

“I don’t understand why someone who has done almost everything right in their life gets drawn this deck of cards,” Heimsch said. ‘Why me?’ came to mind often and the only thing I could think of was ‘Why not me?’ I can handle it. I did everything right in my life. I’m not afraid to die. I had a tough life, but everything I went through made me who I am today.”

During the darkest moments, Kristina reflects on what her legacy will be and what she thinks people will remember most about her.

“Being a mom is one of the most important things to me,” Heimsch said. “I enjoyed going to work and really liked the work-life balance and making people feel good.”

Kristina has broken down a few times and some days there are a lot of tears, but she does her best to keep herself together for her children.

“The only regret I have is not having my young kids earlier,” Heimsch said. “I am thankful that I had 21 years with my older boy. I just wish I had more time. As you get older you cherish those moments.”

Her coworkers at Rainbow and other former colleagues have stepped up to support Kristina and her family. Several of them have purchased items for the Heimsch family on Kristina’s Amazon Wish List or have opted to use Meal Train, a service that delivers home-cooked meals to someone who is going through a difficult time and could use some extra help. Others continue to send her well wishes via cards, texts, or emails. Fellow Nurse Practitioner Shauna Lambrecht also set up a GoFundMe account on behalf of Kristina. Many people who have never met Kristina have made donations with funds currently eclipsing $28,500.

Rainbow Medical Director Dr. Thom McGorey decided to use his musical talents to support the Heimsch family and envisioned the idea of ‘Concerts for Kristina.’ It’s a special fundraising series where he will perform live music across 16 different local venues spanning Rainbow’s service area from December to February. Shows will take place in Lake Mills, Jefferson, Marshall, Watertown, Fort Atkinson, Johnson Creek, Lowell, Sun Prairie, Fox Lake, Cambridge, and Cottage Grove. Dr. McGorey will sing and accompany himself on acoustic guitar, giving those in attendance a chance to enjoy some favorite tunes and donate money via cash, check, or a Venmo account he set up for Kristina.

Rainbow Medical Director Dr. Thom McGorey performs his first "Concerts for Kristina" at Lewis Station Winery in Lake Mills.

“I was truly amazed that Dr. McGorey wanted to do something like this for me,” Heimsch said. “He’s brought awareness to my situation, but it will also help us financially.”

“Over the past 10 years of performing, I’ve done many fundraising shows for a variety of local and national charities, and I wanted to do something like this for Kristina. Not just a small effort, but a big audacious act of kindness!” said McGorey.

Dr. McGorey has been busy planning and organizing the concerts. He has contacted venues, booked shows, and created posters and other marketing materials for each event. Rainbow and several of the venues have promoted the concerts on their social media pages, which Dr. McGorey hopes will help draw an even bigger audience.

Dr. McGorey makes an appearance at The Barrel Inn Bar & Grill in Marshall.

“I’m hoping family, friends, and neighbors are willing to support this very important cause,” McGorey said. “It’s a great excuse to get out, have some fun, treat yourself to a nice meal, and listen to some live music,” McGorey said. “I’ll be performing various sets throughout the series so each show will be unique. If anyone attends more than one show, they’ll hear something different.”

December shows will feature more Christmas and holiday-themed music but will depend on the interest of the venue’s owner/manager. As the concert series shifts to January, the music will include a variety of songs ranging from the early rock’n’roll of the 1950s to the Classic/Heartland Rock and the Pop eras of the ‘60s to the early 2000s. If Kristina feels up to it, she plans to attend the concert scheduled for Saturday morning, December 21, at Berres Brothers Café in Watertown.

Numerous Rainbow employees have also put together baskets to be offered as “door prizes” at several of the concerts. Rainbow Certified Nursing Assistant, Tricia Meyer, also started making rainbow suncatchers to sell to Rainbow staff and they are available for others to purchase at all of Dr. McGorey’s shows. The proceeds will also be donated to Kristina and her family.

Another former coworker of Kristina’s recently gifted her and her family a three-night stay at Glacier Canyon Lodge at the Wilderness Resort in Wisconsin Dells.

Kristina is pictured with her two youngest boys and her husband in the Dells.

Dr. McGorey and his wife, Janice, have also helped babysit Kristina’s two younger children to give Tom and her a needed break for a couple of hours. Everyone who knows Kristina wishes they could take her pain away.

The other members of the Rainbow palliative care team have done their best to fill the void left by Kristina, but it’s been tough because an important part of their group is missing.

“Kristina is a powerhouse,” Lambrecht said. “She has always strived for excellence and enjoyed the journey along the way. I describe her as a unicorn employee. She has the clinical knowledge, empathy, a caring heart, relatable care, business understanding, and the drive to do more and be more. She was a great asset to our team and will be greatly missed.”

“She is an educator and someone who you enjoy learning from,” Meboe said. “We still text, send silly things or a song of the day, or share an emotional moment. The laughs we shared over the time we have worked together are priceless.”

Kristina can’t say she has found peace with her diagnosis but somehow has shown strength and courage and found a path forward. She has accepted she can’t change her situation. Kristina has also worked with Melissa on planning her funeral and eventual celebration of life.

“Don’t take life for granted,” Heimsch said. “You never know how long you have. I wouldn’t say I’m mad or angry, I’m sad. I’m sad this is how my life will end. I have so many more aspirations and dreams. The land we bought was our getaway and I feel so bad that I will not be a part of it now. I’ll be there in spirit, but it won’t be the same.”

Time is now a blessing to Kristina and her family. Having touched so many lives, she will live on in the hearts of loved ones as their guardian angel who is always watching over them. Her story might end sooner than it’s supposed to but she’s grateful for everything she’s accomplished in her life.

“I once had a professor who used the analogy of a slinky. She said, ‘Turn the slinky on its side.’ You started here, and then life brings you ups and downs. You may start over here, but then you end up here. All your life experiences have brought you to where you are, both good and bad. I thought that was immensely powerful because that journey shapes who you become.”

Kristina Heimsch will never know why she developed cancer but hopes she has made a difference in this world. Everyone who has gotten a chance to know and love her understands the significance of her impact and the void that will be left behind. Kristina has touched countless lives, including those she may never know. That’s probably why the outpouring of support has been so great.

“Every act of kindness reminds me why I keep going, even when I’ve felt I couldn’t push through,” Heimsch said.

This is a picture of the Heimsch family in 2022, before Kristina and Tom's youngest son, Krue, was born.

Schedule: "Concerts for Kristina"

Friday, December 6 from 5-7 p.m. at Lewis Station Winery, 217 N. Main St., Lake Mills, WI

Wednesday, December 11 from 5-7 p.m. at Stable Rock Winery, 123 W. Milwaukee St., Jefferson, WI

Thursday, December 12 from 5-8 p.m. at The Barrel Inn Bar & Grill, 1152 Berlin Rd., Marshall, WI

Tuesday, December 17 from 5-8 p.m. at Amado Jr's, 403 E. Main St., Watertown WI

Friday, December 20 from 5-8 p.m. at Fat Boyz Bar & Grill, 219 S. Main St., Fort Atkinson, WI

Saturday, December 21 from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at Berres Brothers Bakery Café, 202 Air Park Dr., Watertown, WI

Saturday, December 21 from 6-8 p.m. at Hi-Way Harry's, 710 Glovers Ln, Johnson Creek, WI

Sunday, December 22 from 2-4 p.m. at Local Waters, 109 S. 3rd St., Watertown, WI

Friday, January 3 from 5-8 p.m. at Murdock's, W8178 State Rd. 16/60, Lowell, WI

Friday, January 10 from 6-9 p.m. at The Drafty Cellar, 110 S. 3rd St., Watertown, WI

Saturday, January 11 from 8-11 p.m. at Salamone's Italian Pizzeria, 1245 Madison Ave., Fort Atkinson, WI

Friday, January 17 from 6-9 p.m. at Mr. Brew's Taphouse, 201 N. Main St. #220, Fort Atkinson, WI

Saturday, January 18 from 7-10 p.m. at Full Mile Beer Co. & Kitchen, 132 Market St., Suite #100, Sun Prairie, WI

Friday, January 24 from 8-11 p.m. at The Boathouse Pub & Eatery, N10575 Chief Kuno Trail, Fox Lake, WI

Saturday, January 25 from 6-9 p.m. at Keystone Grill, 206 W. Main St., Cambridge, WI

Saturday, February 15 from 6-9 p.m. at Doundrins Distilling, 300 Progress Dr., Suite F, Cottage Grove, WI

Several of Kristina's co-workers and friends have come out to show their support so far!