Love is in the Air: Hospice Patient Watches Her Son Get Married in Rainbow's Memorial Garden
Love is in the air: Hospice Patient Watches Her Son Get Married in Rainbow’s Memorial Garden
by Kenyon Kemnitz
Sam Bovee and his sister, Shelley, share a sweet moment with their mother, Sally, in Rainbow's Memorial Garden.
Sam Bovee was waiting for the perfect time to propose to his girlfriend, Melissa. He had planned on doing it in a couple of months, but the opportunity presented itself sooner than he thought.
Sam’s mom, Sally, had been dealing with complications stemming from cirrhosis of the liver and was having trouble eating, swallowing, and losing weight. When she fell at home, Sam and his older sister, Shelley (Block), suggested that she go to the hospital to get checked out.
“We didn’t know if she possibly hit her head but it’s a good thing she went to the doctor because she had a bladder/kidney infection stemming from a urinary tract infection and sepsis,” said Bovee.
Sally wanted to go home but doctors discovered she also had a hiatal hernia, which occurs when the upper part of the stomach bulges into the chest. Doctors feared she would not survive surgery and if she did the recovery would be too traumatic for her body.
Watertown Regional Medical Center suggested Rainbow Community Care’s hospice service.
“When mom was in the ICU, Rainbow was among the various provider options presented by the hospital case manager,” said Block. “She shared that both her husband and brother had been at Rainbow and that she was 100% confident in the care our mom would receive.”
Sam was somewhat familiar with Rainbow because he had serviced the HVAC systems at the Rainbow Hospice Care Inpatient Center (IPC) for J.F. Ahern but didn’t know much about Rainbow’s various service offerings. The family got set up to talk with Rainbow social worker Jessica Gray and Sally was soon admitted to hospice at home. A few days later though, Sally was transferred to the IPC in Johnson Creek.
Sally’s health was declining rapidly, but Sam knew she would want to see him marry the love of his life.
“I asked my mom if that was something she would like to see and of course she said ‘yes,’” Bovee said.
When Sam was only a freshman in high school in 2007, his dad, Jeffrey, passed away so having his mom at his wedding was extremely important to him. Their bond had remained strong over the years.
“That was a difficult time, but it allowed them to form a close relationship,” Block said. “I was already married with a three-year-old and had another on the way, so they were doing this on their own to an extent. They had to support one another on a daily basis through the loss and developed a new way of living.”
Sam knew he didn’t have much time and started planning a way to propose to Melissa. He went to a jeweler in Watertown and spotted the perfect ring.
“My mom had given us my father’s and her wedding bands, and one of her anniversary rings, so the engagement ring looked like a matched set between the other three,” Bovee said.
Sam asked if the store could get the ring sized and ready that same day and they agreed. He picked it up and then tried to put a plan in place to surprise Melissa.
“I wanted to figure out how to propose and still make it special for her, so I messaged her sister-in-law and said ‘Hey, invite Melissa out for coffee,” which is what they normally do, but she threw a wrench into my plans because she invited me to go along,” Bovee said.
Sam popped the question by Veteran’s Memorial Park in Oconomowoc overlooking the water and boats.
When Melissa said yes, Sam knew the next step was picking a date and location, but time wasn’t on his side.
“I talked with my sister, and Shelley said, ‘Do it as soon as you can,’” Bovee said.
Melissa went shopping on Sunday to find a dress and they were going to go to the courthouse on Monday for the marriage license.
When visiting his mom on Friday, August 2nd at the IPC, Sam ran into Nurse Manager, Kelly Hildebrand and asked if he could get married outside in the memorial garden.
“I didn’t hesitate and said ‘absolutely’ and if the garden didn’t work out due to rain then they could get married underneath the starry sky where the piano sits upstairs at the IPC,” said Hildebrand. “I reached out to Jessica (Gray) to iron out the details.”
Everyone got to work to make sure everything was ready for Wednesday afternoon, August 8th.
“The original plan was to take Mom to the courthouse for the wedding, but we decided that would be too difficult and changed our plan to the gardens at Rainbow,” Block said.
Rainbow wanted to do everything it could to make it a special and memorable day for the Bovee family.
That morning Sarah Frick picked flowers from her mother’s garden and Inpatient Center Manager Tamara Vogel stopped and picked up some cupcakes. Both were also busy cutting hydrangeas and arranging them with the flowers in vases for the wedding. Volunteer Coordinator Jill Radke found a wedding card, and rugs or runners were also laid down to create an easy pathway for everyone to walk by IPC Facility Manager Dave Radke. Dave even cut his vacation short to come back to make sure there was enough seating outside and everything was clean.
IPC Manager, Tamara Vogel and Manager of Patient Navigation, Sarah Frick are busy preparing for the wedding.
“Jessica, Sarah, and I were out there the night before moving benches into the space, picking up sticks, and we even trimmed some branches because we thought they would interfere with the photos,” said Tamara Vogel.
“When I got there Dave was out there moving benches and chairs and he said, ‘Just tell me where you want them,’” Bovee said.
Rainbow Facilities Manager, Dave Radke, makes sure the benches are clean for the wedding guests.
Later that afternoon, Sam and Melissa got dressed at the IPC and their families started to arrive. Shelley enlisted the help of her husband’s brother, Zach Chekouras, to perform the wedding. Besides Sam’s sister and brother-in-law, Dan, the guest list included his three nieces, Isabella, Alyse, and Amara, Melissa’s parents and stepdad, and her brother and sister-in-law. Sally’s loving friend and significant other, Fred Vogel, was also there for the wedding and provided more support for Sally.
Dan was originally going to fly solo as the wedding photographer, but Rainbow Intake/Benefits Specialist Jodi Badura had heard about the wedding that morning and had her husband’s mother go and pick up her camera equipment. Badura has her own photography business and offered to snap some pictures so everyone else could be included in the memories of that day.
Benches were positioned to make sure everyone had an excellent view of the wedding. With help from IPC nurse Denise James and CNA Jade Finona, Sally was wheeled out on a chair from her IPC room and positioned in the perfect spot to see her son get married.
Melissa walks with her dad and stepdad "down the aisle" to get married in Rainbow's Memorial Garden.
As Melissa walked down the brick pathway of the memorial garden, Sam was waiting and smiling by a pergola surrounded by a beautiful, picturesque backdrop of greenery and flowers.
After the couple exchanged vows and said their, “I dos,” it was time to kiss the bride.
Sam and Melissa sneak a kiss after saying their "I dos."
“We’ve known each other for like 10 years since high school and she friend-zoned me for a long time, but we kept in contact over the years and became closer,” Bovee said.
Sam and Melissa had pulled off the wedding with the help of their family and staff at Rainbow. Now their two worlds are tied together as one.
“The day was absolutely perfect,” Block said. “The sun was shining, the temperature was great, and there were so many hidden angels that worked to make the outside area extra perfect.”
Sam and his sister, Shelley, get some pictures with their mom, Sally.
Love was in the air as everyone gathered for pictures. One photo, in particular, Sam and his sister will remember forever.
“It’s one of the few photos where my mom is smiling and we also have a small video clip where my sister turns to my mom and says, ‘We did it, Mama,’ and then the camera pans over to my mom and she’s smiling too.”
The special moment captured Sam and his sister kissing their mom on the cheek.
“Sam bought the rings on Friday, proposed Saturday, the wedding dress was purchased on Sunday and the wedding was Wednesday,” Block said. “It was a wild ride from start to finish and we were able to throw it together in a week’s time.”
Family members gather after Sam and Melissa's wedding for a few pictures.
Following the ceremony and outdoor festivities, Sam, Melissa, and their families celebrated with cupcakes and a toast of sparkling cider in the IPC family room. Their engagement lasted only three days, and now they were finally husband and wife.
“Everything had to fall into place and come together as fast as possible,” Bovee said. “I kind of pushed to try and get everything done in time and I’m surprised it was able to happen that fast.”
“I knew we had to make it happen for them in any way we could,” Tamara Vogel said. “We had just a few short days to make it happen, but so many people stepped up and offered to help. Making one of Sally’s final wishes come true was incredibly emotional, and we were absolutely honored to be part of such an intimate moment with the family.”
Shelley, her husband, and three daughters pose for pics with Sam and Sally.
It may not be how Sam or Melissa Bovee initially envisioned their wedding day, but the ceremony helped the families come together and brought them a lot of love and happiness during a tough time.
“I can’t even put into words how helpful everyone from Rainbow was,” Bovee said. “I knew it was something important to my mom and we were able to make it happen with Rainbow’s help. It was a really big team effort to achieve a common goal.”
Sally passed away just over a week later on Thursday, August 15 at age 68. Sam, Melissa, Shelley, and Fred were at Sally’s bedside to say their goodbyes before she closed her eyes one final time. Rainbow staff then lined up in the main hallway of the IPC and stood together in solidarity to pay their respects to the Bovee family as Sally exited the building.
Sam and his family can’t thank Rainbow enough for the quality of care that Sally received from Rainbow staff, especially during her brief stay at the IPC.
“Everyone was so kind, caring, and helpful,” Bovee said.” I think the inpatient center is the best place someone can be at end-of-life. It’s well-maintained and always clean, the staff is friendly, and the staff-to-patient ratio is excellent. My mom was well-cared for, and I think it’s the best option out there.”
“When I first introduced myself to Sam, I shared my sympathies that his family needed our services but assured him that we would take great care of his mom,” Hildebrand said. He told me, ‘There’s nowhere he’d rather have her be than at Rainbow.’”
While their hearts are broken that Sally is no longer with them, the Bovees are happy she was able to see her son get married.
“For mom, I know she was able to leave us easier knowing we were both in loving relationships,” Block said. “This will be a day we will cherish forever. It was such a blessing to see mom smile and have one more special day with her family.”
“It’s like the day was meant to be,” Bovee said.
(Several photos appearing in this story are courtesy of Jodi Badura Photography. Special thanks to Jodi for capturing all the special moments from this day).
